When the train stops at the 5th stop, we head out and she tells me her next plan. “I’m hungry! Let’s go to the nearest restaurant!”
“You really are out of your mind, you think there’s still a restaurant open at this hour? It’s almost midnight!”
“I know a place where it’s still open!” then she pulls my hand and we start running out of the station and we stop at the nearest 7/11 store.
“This is not a restaurant.” I glare at her.
“Well, we can still buy foods in here.” she giggles.
“Uh-kay.” I heave out a sigh, “Well then, let’s go in.”
As we enter, the lady in the counter who’s around 50 greets us with a warm welcome. We head straight to chips and other snacks to pig on. I grab some nachos and chocolates as she grab a pack of marshmallow, she hands it to me and she ask me to bring it for her. What a lazy bun.
We went to the counter and I ask her if she wants anything else and she told me, “Just a hot chocomilk.”
The lady in the counter has a big question mark written on her face as she punches our stuff on the code bar. What’s bothering her? Oh, I don’t know, weird people these days.
“Ah yeah, I would want to add 2 hot chocomilk.” well, I would like some too of those hot milks.
“Sure.” she turns to prepare hot milks and when it’s done, Shekinah asks me something.
“Can you put marshmallow on my chocomilk?”
“Why don’t you do it yourself?” I said to her.
“Please?” she pleaded.
“Oh for whoever’s sake.” I said in defeat, exhausted in her incredible annoying self and just open the pack of marshmallow and place some piece of it on the chocomilk letting it to float there.
I paid all the expenses and before leaving she says to the counterlady, “Goodnight, take care of yourself.”
But it seems like the counterlady did not hear her and turns to the other way, fixing some stuff.
As we go out of 7eleven to eat our stuff on the pavements, I notice that she doesn’t have her chocomilk with her and she’s only munching on her marshmallows.
“What happened to your chocomilk?” I ask her.
“I drank it already.” she answered.
“Liar. I did not see you drinking any.” I said to her.
“Well… I forgot it there.”
“Say what?! You forgot it at the store?” I exclaim.
“Yeah, I was thinking too much that I forgot to bring my own cup.” she explain.
“Oh, how stupid can you be! Let’s go back and get your cup!”
“No! Just leave it there.” she said.
“And why? I spent a dollar for it!”
“Just leave it to the counterlady, she might need some of those hot chocomilks… Afterall, it’s very tiring to work at nights.”
I keep silent. Crunch and bites are the only audible noise between us. She then speaks, “Do you want to throw your heart away, Allen?”
“No but I have no choice, my parents want me to have this operation.” I answered.
“Your parents? How about you, don’t you want it?”
“Honestly, I don’t believe much in this operation but I guess, like what you’ve said… I’m inbetween life and death so I might as well take this hope with me and wish for the best with my soon operation.”
“If it’s a success, what’s your plan?” she ask.
“I don’t really know.” I answered.
“Will you come back to your girlfriend?”
“Maybe… maybe I’d try to check her if she’s fine…”
“And when she’s fine, what are you gonna do next?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who knows…” she throws a mallow in her mouth and then she buries her face on her knees, “When operation’s done, can you tell me how it feels to have another heart inside you? I mean… I want to know if it feels like being two people inside one body. I want you to tell me how it feels to have another heart beating inside you, I want you tell me if it still feels the same… I want you to tell me if you can feel through that other person’s heart or if you could still hear the feelings of the original owner of the heart… I want you to tell me if having another person’s heart beating inside you, makes you feel the presence of the original owner.”
“Why do you want me to tell you these?” I ask.
“I want to know, Allen. Please tell me, Allen… Tell me everything after the operation.”
“Sure, you can always knock at my door after the operation. Afterall, I still have to stay at the hospital after some days even the operation’s done already.” I said.
“Thank you, Allen.”
“Don’t thank me, I’m not even sure if it’ll be a success. And yeah, why are you so eager to know?”
“I’ll tell you Allen but that’s gotta wait until your operation’s done.” she said.
“Well… okay.”
After pigging out with the stuff we bought, we lay our bodies on the pavements not caring if anyone would pass there any moment… And once again, we watch the glittering sky and the big moon shining upon us…
“Allen…”
“Hmm?” I look at her at my side to see her looking at me too.
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“What is it?” I ask.
Eye to eye, she tells me, “Please take care of your new heart, take care of it for me.”
Though I did not understand it well, I just said yes and we continue to watch the sky not knowing how… I fell into a deep slumber.
And the next day, I woke up again on my hospital bed wondering if last night’s just another dream again with Shekinah.
I want to go out, I want to check her on the other room next to mine but the doctors and my parents won’t allow me to go out ‘coz they said I should rest myself for tomorrow’s operation. No one allowed me to go outside so I did not have the chance to meet her before my operation.
They prepared me at 11pm ‘coz I will be operated at midnight, yes… exactly midnight. That was the hour given to me ‘coz they told me that my operation will take very long.
—
As I am laying on my operation bed, lights flashing on my face, voices echoing in my head, blurred faces surrounding me… flashbacks of the past starts to play like those of camera films.
"Hello?"
"Sena…"
"Ah, Allen… why did you call?"
"There are things that I want to ask you, I hope you will answer it. Don't ask why, just answer it."
"Okay.. what is it Allen?"
"Are you still crying during the night?"
"Eh?"
"Just answer it please Sena."
"I no longer cry.."
"Do I still have a remembrance or any thing in you?"
"Eh?" "Ah, I don't have."
"Do you still mention my name?"
"I don't."
"Are you busy with things?"
"Yep, a lot."
"Your bangs and highlights suits you."
"Eh?!"
"I'm sorry about before when you are going to have a blind date with James, he got sick at that time and pass it to me. I didn't know that it was you, the name you gave is different."
"Wait Allen, why are you saying this things? And also you said that you're inly going to ask question but you are not asking now."
"Do you know that you and Trey suit each other, I'm happy that he is courting you."
"Allen—!"
"Trey loves you, trust me. He will not hurt you."
"Allen wait,"
"I'm happy that you are happy with him. I'm really happy for you. Don't cry again Sena, okay?"
"Allen! Wait, what are saying? Are you messing with me or what?" I'm annoyed because he keeps talking, not explaining things what he wants to convey.
"Sena.. you love Trey right?"
“….”
"I think you already love him. Close your eyes. Listen to your heart. Ask to yourself if you love Trey."
“….”
"If you heart beat is fast that means you love him."
“….”
"Last question, do you still love me? It's up to you to check the box, I hope your feeling is clear now. Don't be confuse Sena and don't hold to your past. Free yourself from pain."
"Wait Allen! What did you mean about the box!"
"Are you over him? Check the box if yes.
"Sena, dare to fall inlove again. That is the 11th way to forget me."
"Allen—!"
“Hand it to me.”
“Doc, do you need this one?”
“Yes! Yes! Hurry!”
“Doc, the rate’s decreasing so fast!”
“We need to give it a pump! Hand it to me,”
“Now?”
“Now!”
“Nothing. It keeps decreasing.”
“We can’t give up now! Another push!”
“Still nothing, doc!”
“Kid, listen to me. I know you can hear me, Don’t give up now! PUSH!”
"Hi! I'm Shekinah. Knock knock."
"You whiner!"
"What kind of heck accusation should that be?!"
"In life, percentage is just a number! Transplant is always a transplant! Why are you such a pessimist?!"
"What sense there is in a 20% chance of success?!"
"And what sense there is to waste the heart that is about to be given to you?! Atleast believe! Atleast have a 100% faith? 20 plus 100 makes 120% surpassing the hundred!"
"Don't teach me math! I know better!"
"I'm not teaching you math. I'm teaching you to believe more than beyond."
"Tell me Shekinah, what's in between life and death? Where am I?? If you can tell me what's inbetween them.. Then maybe that's where I am right now."
"Let me tell you Allen that between life and death is hope. That's where you are now. Let's go?"
DUG. DUG. DUG.
“Doc! We need to hurry!”
DUG…. Dug….
“Don’t give up kid! Don’t!”
“Please take care of your new heart, take care of it for me.”
DUGDUGDUG.
I felt someone inside me, someone I know.
—
“Where are you going?” my doctor stops me as I was about to knock at Shekinah’s door.
“Just gonna check out a friend, my operation’s a success so I guess she deserves to hear the good news.” when I said that, my doctor frowns.
“There’s no one there.”
“No one? How come? Is Shekinah’s done with her treatment? Has she left the hospital already?” maybe yesterday? ‘Coz after the operation, I slept for a day.
“H-how did you know about Shekinah?” he’s so shocked that he places his hands on his mouth with eyes wide open.
“Huh? I don’t get you, doc.”
He did not answer but instead he opens Shekinah’s room with one of the keys he has on his pocket and opens it for me, revealing me an empty room, “Shekinah’s long gone. When she was going to her school, she got hit by a driver who lost control of his wheel… She got hit so hard that she had a coma.”
“I’m a constant liar. I tell mix truth and lies so it will always be up to you if you wanna believe it.”
“For how long did she stay here?” I manage to ask.
“For a month and some weeks.”
“I have an asthma, been staying here for a month and some weeks.”
“Oh God…” realizations run down my whole system…
That’s why she seems so transparent everytime the moonlight strikes her skin. That’s why she’s so pallid, that’s why she’s so cold.
"Here," I hand her ticket, "That's $10."
"I don't have money, you should have not bothered." still she accepts it.
"If I did not, how can you ride the train? Now that I'm already here, I can't go alone." I said.
"You can't go alone? That's what you've been doing since last night."
Since last night? She meant that I was always alone… she was never with me, or physically with me atleast. Then why do I always wake up on my bed? Is she a dream? Oh, my mind’s clouded with questions that I don’t know where to seek the answers.
“How did you know that this was Shekinah’s room?” the doctor ass me, “Did your parents told you already that she’s you donor?”
DONOR. Shekinah’s my heart donor?
I run out of the hospital hearing my doctor shouting, “Allen! Stop! Don’t run yet, it’ll be bad for your just operated body!”
I didn’t bother listening, I just keep on running and heading to that place where she brought me first…
To the graveyard, I search and search for the graveyard where we sat and I lay my body and when I found it… I saw a woman around 50 and she seems familiar… the woman from 7/11, the conterlady. She’s standing at the gravestone with her head bowed down and eyes closed.
I feel butterflies inside my stomach. It’s like I’m connecting the dots so fast and I can’t control myself to stop…
“Excuse me,” I told the lady as I walk near her. She raises her head and surprised to see me, “Have we met before?”
I didn’t answer her question and instead I look at the name written on the gravestone…Shekinah Blake.
The first time she brought me here, I did not even notice her name on it. How stupid and blind can I be?
“Do you know Shekinah?” I ask the lady.
“Yes, she’s my daughter.”
“Aren’t you from the other city working at 7/11?” she’s surprised when I asked her that question.
“Were you the one who bought 2 hot chocomilks and left the other cup for me?”
“No, it wasn’t me.”
“Say what?! You forgot it at the store?” I exclaim.
“Yeah, I was thinking too much that I forgot to bring my own cup.” she explain.
“Oh, how stupid can you be! Let’s go back and get your cup!”
“No! Just leave it there.” she said.
“And why? I spent a dollar for it!”
“Just leave it to the counterlady, she might need some of those hot chocomilks… Afterall, it’s very tiring to work at nights.”
“It was your daughter, Shekinah. She left it there and told me that you might need it ‘coz she knew that it’s very tiring for you to work at nights.”
The lady smiled bitterly, “I knew it. I felt her presence that night, I heard her say… goodnight to me and to take care of myself. That’s why I decided to go back to this city to pay a visit to her tomb.”
“Did you not see her?” I ask.
“No, but did you?”
I look down at Shekinah’s grave, “Yeah, She kept knocking on my wall and now… she’s knocking on my heart.”
“Oh my god, d’you happen to be Allen— that guy that received her heart?!”
I nodded, “I guess so. I can feel her inside me.”
“When operation’s done, can you tell me how it feels to have another heart inside you? I mean… I want to know if it feels like being two people inside one body. I want you to tell me how it feels to have another heart beating inside you, I want you tell me if it still feels the same… I want you to tell me if you can feel through that other person’s heart or if you could still hear the feelings of the original owner of the heart… I wan’t you to tell me if having another person’s heart beating inside you, makes you feel the presence of the original owner.”
xxx-xxx
“Ladies and gentlemen, we ave just been cleared to land at the NAIA airport. Please make sure one last time you your seat belt is securely fastened, The flight attendants are currently passing around the cabin to make a final compliance check and pick any remaining cups and glasses. Thank you.”
“im back, Philippines. I just want to check how my ex-girlfriend’s doing. If Sena’s happy now, well I should be happy for her as well. Shekinah’s, you know what? Having someone’s heart beating inside you is kinda creepy… creepy just like you. But the thing is, I really feel your presence inside me. Will you be always be there to guide me? Let’s keep beating together, Shekinah.
I may be surprised, too happy, nervous and maybe… I might fall inlove again and get hurt in the future but don’t worry,
“Please take care of your new heart, please take care of it for me.”
I’ll take care of this heart, I’ll take care of you. You are the hope inside me.
END
***
TL: Most of Let me tell you, Allen are in english. So I just copied and edited it. I hope you enjoyed the ride.
[End]