006 – The Fact That I’m Alive (Chiffon’s View)
” The mission today is to retrieve the documents and to bring along Beryl’s House kid. ”
I was told to gather at a drab-looking cabin and as I headed towards it, someone who was already there told me to enter. His whole body and even his face is covered and with his average figure, he can said to be somebody without any defining characteristics.
The mission this time must be written onto the paper card he is holding though since I can’t read, I have no idea if that’s the truth or not. What a careless client, leaving along evidence with us, who are part of the underground world.
We, 「Shadow」, have the duty of confidentiality and will never leak out any information about our clients to others but some small organization of thugs uses the fact about hiring us to threaten others carelessly.
Still, recovery of documents. Just say you want to steal it.
And to ‘bring along’ the Beryl’s House kid? Just frankly say ‘kidnap’.
I started shaking with anger at the ‘Client’ whom I have yet meet. No matter how many beautiful words you use, an evil deed is an evil deed. Suppressing my anger, I lift my head, also covered in cloth, up. In the cabin, including me, there are 3 people. The average figure guy who read the card and a tall, muscular guy. From their figure, I knew are they the ones who had grouped with me for missions these last few times.
” Is the preparations done? ”
The tall guy asked. I nodded.
In the dusk that is fast approaching to night, the average figure guy took lead and we ran out.
I am 「Shadow」, belonging to an organization from the underground which undertakes ‘missions’. A Shadow’s job ranges, from thefts to information exchange, kidnap or even assassination. I especially, am given the more dangerous ‘missions’ like assassination.
Why am I stuck with these kinds of unpleasant jobs?
It is all thanks to these repulsive ears and tail. I am a ‘Beast man’, an inferior species. In replacement of ears on the sides of my head, I have dog-like ears on top. and out of my butt a bushy mangy tail grows. I was bullied at the orphanage because of this monster-like appearance. [TN: You’re in the wrong world. In ours, there are people who worship that ears and tail of yours…desu.]
At my last day in the orphanage, I was given loads of food but it seems like it was mixed with sleeping medicine. When I came to, something heavy was attached to my neck and I became a slave. And so, I received training to become ‘Shadow’.
The training to endure wounds, to withstand pain, to not make a sound. Combat training and at last….training on how to kill.
It’s terrible, I don’t want to kill. I desperately tried to resist but it is impossible. I had already given up.
This collar—this black band of metal on my neck makes my body moves regardless of my will. My left hand will pin down my right hand holding a knife, my body will kill a person I wanted to save. The day I am released is the day I die. These dirty hands of mine, all these crimes I did, I can only apologized by my death.
Looking up, the destination, Beryl’s estate can be seen on top of a hill.
” The target? ”
” In the office. Right in front of the stairs on the 2nd floor. ”
The tall guy replied the average guy after searching using his sight. Then, without talking, without hesitation, we arrived at the bottom of the fence, west of the estate.
The 2 glances fleetingly at me. The fence is quite high but still does not pose a problem. I nod and move close to the tall guy like usual. He carried me, contracted his muscles and throw me over in an instance. Instantly I bend all my joints, allowing the shock of the landing to run through my body. I am already at the top of the hill. I lowered the
rope tied around my body and after checking that the both of them had hold of it, I strengthen myself with magic and pull them up at once.
” [Shadow] ”
Once over the fence, tall guy invoked the magic. We became invisible under the cover of darkness. I sneak a glance at the street we passed. The sunset made the street dazzle.
Like the average guy had predicted, the target is in the office in front of the 2nd story stairs. [TN: Huh? Isn’t it the tall guy who said that?] Instructions had been given along the way, the customer had said apart from the target, he had lured the rest of people in the house away. Such kindness. [TN: RIGHT.]
It will be embarrassing if we fail after all that. I feel nauseated.
Looks like the customer had did as promised, no light nor person can be seen in the office. Being able to see in the darkness is needed as a ‘Shadow’.
Reaching the 2nd floor office window that adorned with ornament, average guy took out a needle and pick open the window. They must have thought that no one would enter through the main window of the mansion. Even though this is an old mansion, defense for the window is weak.
Opening the window, we landed without a sound in the room. The document is at… looking at the stacks of papers around the office, finding it is going to be difficult. Average guy pointed to the area close to the wall and without hesitation I walked over. Even though I can’t read, there is certainly a pattern to how the documents are stacked. And then, at the moment the document we are looking for is found..
” What are you doing here? ” [TN: Using very polite speech.]
” ……! ”
I reacted by reflex when I heard a young, slightly lisping, yet composed voice opposite from the darkness. This…collar!
Flustered, I look in the direction of the voice, and there, I saw a shadow that is not even 100cm…
From my fingers, I stare dumbly at the diamond-shaped hidden weapon I just fired. Ah, I killed a person again….. But, before I can realize, for some reason the child was already right in front of me. At the same moment, my consciousness grew dark.
” Why…. ”
Is the first thing I said when I came to. I cannot comprehend what had happened at all. It is not that I had lost my memories, but…..
As a Shadow, this behavior is unthinkable. To speak on enemy grounds…. Even so, I cannot even move an inch. Trying to twist my body cause intense pain that strikes throughout my body. I frown, not making a sound this time. No..the correct phrase should be that I can’t make a sound, due to the collar. I roll around on the floor to look around the surroundings. No one can be seen apart from us. And as it is, the other 2 is still unconscious.
Nonetheless, doubts started raising. Even if we are unconscious, leaving us ‘Shadow’ alone unsupervised is rather careless. We can be considered as professional. No matter how tied up we are, we do possess the skills to slip out.
With that, I tried moving my body again and I realized…. I can’t move. Even though nothing can be seen binding us, I cannot even move a finger. It feels just like my body turned into lead, the ‘Shadow’ side of me calming analyze, yet another side of me feels a strange, unfamiliar sense of terror, causes me to sweat.
I convinced myself that the sweat is because of the extreme pain spreading throughout my body and starting thinking of what to do next. I still have the absolute-loyalty collar on me yet by body cannot move an inch. [TN: GEEZE. How many times must you repeat that?!?]
And I have no idea what happened.
We erased our presence just to be sure when we sneaked in and tall guy had used [Shadow] magic to merge us into the darkness so it is impossible for anyone to see us. Even so, why did my arm
arm reacted to the child’s voice…eh? A child?
The one that spoke to us, furthermore knocking us out, was done by a kid? This is a nightmare. I am not hallucinating, am I? But this pain running throughout my body is the real deal.
But why? Questions raced across my brain, and even so, I am not panicking. Being in this situation that defies the orders of the collar made me kinda happy.
Then.
2 pairs of footsteps can be heard walking on the carpet and the lamp was switched on.
A black-haired man appeared in my vision. And, a beautiful angel-like child too.
” This…perhaps… It was you who bound all 3 of them? ”
After looking over us, the black-haired man who suddenly appeared asked the child who is with him, looking like he had an idea who we really are. It seems like he realized how dangerous we are since it looked like there was nothing tying us up.
” Ah, I will tell you about that later. ”
With that, the angel-like child instantly reply, and the truth was proven. That’s right, the one who put us into this situation is this child. And he most likely completely trust this robe wearing intelligent-looking scholar. My face turns stiff.
It couldn’t be. I mean, this big and round eyes, tufty eyebrows, and below his moderately fleshy cheeks lies a pair of small cute lips, all arranged onto a face that is like the art god created, lined up to create a sense of beauty. Moreover that silky shiny silver hair paired with emerald green sparkly eyes like shines like a gemstone. He looks just like the angel from the picture book that I used to sneaked into the bookstore to read when I was young.
That kind of child did this to me…..?
” What is the matter? ”
” What’s the matter indeed. ”
While I was trying to accept this truth, these 2 are talking without a care in the world. Just try to be afraid a little, will you? We are tentatively ‘Shadow’ who can even silenced a crying kid.
I was wrong to try to observed them while being in agony about the pain. The cloth that was covering my face was removed by that child who moved close to me without me noticing…….and our eyes met.
” Ah. ”
The child exclaimed in surprised. The one shouting in surprised should be me!
I wish to yell too, as the delicate movement of having my mask removed is paid by experiencing severe pain throughout my body. It might be that several of my ribs broke. Even so, I did not mutter a single sound.
The collar is to be blamed. Even though I don’t feel like I am bound but I cannot move, I harbor a hope that perhaps my collar is broken but no chance. Then, it looks like the black-haired guy finally noticed and starts to search my body. Of course, in this occupation we often carries weapons and hidden weapons. But, he was shocked when he felt my rib area.
” This person, several of the bones are broken. What kind of fighting did you do? ”
” ….Eh? ”
As I thought it’s broken. From this amount of pain I thought it might be so. The guy looked at me with a sharp gaze.
” What is your purpose of infiltrating this house? ”
” ………. ”
It hurts.
” Are you with the Verutor’s? ”
My vision turn white.
” ………. ”
It is true that once you came to know the seriousness of your injury, it is going to hurt more. Right now, I am trying to endure the pain by scowling. The man repeated his questions over and over again but it is useless. My neck is bound by that magic item. I can only obey the orders to keep mum. Plus, I have no idea who our client is. All I know is a man who is covered by his long robe is our owner.
” Will, let’s bring her into a separate room. Heavy…? ”
They must be giving up on me who is refusing to speak. Black-haired man places his arm underneath my
underneath my wrist to lift me up but somehow surprisingly, my body did not moved an inch.
I can’t be that heavy.
No matter how weak that scholar seemed, there is no way he can’t even move me, who can be considered slender. And the time that allows me to think ended. At the same time the pressure against my body is lifted, the scenery changed. Without the pressure, my bones spread out in different directions and with that, extreme pain.
I cannot even feel if it is hot or cold as black and white spots danced around in my vision. My teeth started shaking as if it’s cold yet my back started sweating as if it’s hot. I know this feeling. I have felt it millions of time during training, this intense pain that can bring about death by shock.
My consciousnesses started getting hazy.
My hearing starts waning.
” I think this person is a [Shadow]. ”
” …..[Shadow]? ”
” Yes. [Shadow] is the ‘fixer’ of the underworld. As long as there is a request, they will do anything, even assassination. They are the organization that operates in the dark, with no one ever seeing them before. ”
I wanted to listen in their conversation but my vision is swimming and my hearing is shaky and I cannot separate the sounds. They are doing something with my neck but I cannot tell what it is.
” …..This! ….Will, it’s as I thought, the situation is unfavorable. This item that is attached at the neck is mostly likely the [Collar of Slavery]. ”
The man is saying something. My vision is swimming. A small shadow came close and said something but I cannot understand.
” Onee San is a shadow? ”
He seems to be asking something. I tried my best to focus my vision but I cannot recognize anything.
” Slavery was banned decades ago. The manufacturing method of [Collar of Slavery] was ceased and it was said to be a taboo magic item. ”
A deep voice sounded out. The small shadow came close again. A silver glow.
” [Release] ”
The meaningless sounds lined up and at that moment, I can feel that I am wrapped in a warm glow. Then there was a noise around my neck area for some reason. My understanding cannot catch up.
” ………..Why? ”
That came out of my mouth suddenly.
I feel like I had said that before, but that cracking voice reflected my feelings.
My world that was clouded, cleared up.
All these overflowing feelings coupled with the extreme pain causes my vision to finally turn white.
” ……Nnn.. ”
Suddenly, an Angel entered in the middle of my sight.
Why is an Angel…? Am I finally dead?
That thinking lasted for only a moment as I remembered what had happened before I lost consciousness. Yes, this angel-like child had totally blockaded us during battle and captured us when we were knocked out. I don’t even dare to ask about the fate of the rest of the captured ‘Shadows’.
His master must be the man clad in black robes. Instantly, fear gripped my heart.
” Onee San, are you okay? ”
” ……!! ”
As I am shaking with fear, a voice rang out surprises me. The Angel had a gentle smile on his face as he continues.
” Is Onee San a [Shadow] because of the collar? ”
Even if you asked that, because of the collar I can’t answer anyway. I wonder if my thoughts can be understand. The child grin and laughs.
” If it’s the collar I have taken it off! ”
Disbelieving, I timidly touched my neck…. My fingers did not touch anything…..?
What is the meaning of this?
My understanding cannot catch up to this turn of events. I look at the child in front of me, dumbfounded. When our eyes met, he smiles.
” Onee San is free. ”
” …….You’re bluffing……. ”
” No I am not. ”
” You’re bluffing!! ”
I shouted at the impossible words. Because…right. I am a dirty, wild, and inferior beast as compared to humans. That is what everyone said, yes, even I think so too. It was because of that I end up like this. up like this. It was because of that I am satisfied with being a ‘Shadow’. Freedom is something you have if you can control it, but I can’t. Because I am not a human. Everyone steps on my tail. Because it’s dirty. That I am to leave. That I am a monster. That I am useless. That I am an idiot. Beast men are not humans. That’s why we cannot do what humans can.
” I am not bluffing! Onee San is free… ”
” I can’t be!! I cannot be free! Because…because… I am a… Beast man! ”
This child must have thought I am a human. That is why he is looking at me with these pure eyes that is free of doubts. If you think it’s a simple rock you would sit on it, but if you know there is a mass of centipedes, pill bugs clinging on to it, you wouldn’t.
It might look like a normal rock but it’s actually poisonous. That’s me.
Taking advantage of this flow, I took off the cloth that is wrapped around my head. Among my flattened hair, 2 beast ears jumped up. I saw how that child’s face is filled with surprised. As I thought. I hanged my head in shame, and thus missed seeing the continuation of his expression.
I wonder what kind of face is he making now. Must be looking at me with disgust. Or contempt. And pity I guess. [TN: My guess? He wanna touch that ears of yours.]
” Why can’t Beast Men have freedom? ”
” Because….We’re revolting. In any case, it’ll still be…. ”
My heart is beating like crazy, even so, his voice is clear, without any feelings. He is calmly searching, asking. As I answered with a trembling voice, he went silent for a moment. I wonder what he’s thinking. Still, I can’t bear to lift up my head. Please, stop asking these detestable questions. My ears naturally flatten against my head, trying to block out the sound.
It was a moment of silence, yet it felt like eternity. And then, I heard him getting closer to the bed I’m laying. He is going to hit me for deceiving him. I flinch at his outstretch hand.
” How so? I think it’s cute. ”
” You’re bluffing! ”
The answer beyond my expectation cause me to look up and I shouted. Because he is stroking my ears, but, to say it’s cute, does he even know what he’s talking about? [TN: TOLD YOU.]
But when I saw his expression, I falter. He had a gentle smile on yet his face is serious.
” Onee San, aren’t your ears just a part of you? For example, If I cut my hair, I am still me. If I dressed up nicely, I am still me. ”
He cut off his sentence at that point. He is saying that my ears, tails are just decorations, things that have no meaning. And this tail and ears are just a part of my body, not all of me. If this is heard by people on the street that had pity on me, they would think what a horrible remark to make.
Because he just totally denied my ears and tail. Yet it still hits close to my heart. Maybe it’s because he said it gently and straight. And it’s not pity. He said that in my position. That it’s okay to cast it aside, to not worry about it. That even if I’m clad in rags, a human is still a human.
” Isn’t it that? It is the inside that’s important. ”
He said, smiling yet somehow he looks like he is about to cry.
I see, now I get it. Used to killing. Giving up. Because I’m a Beast Men. All I am doing is escaping. To tell the truth, I really wanted to be recognize as a human.
[TN: It’s really not all that good. I would rather prefer to be an Elf. Or dragon. ]
My eyes swell up, feeling hot.
” I think Onee San’s ears are cute. ”
He said, looking like he really meant it and I cried.