Chapter 45
CHAPTER 45
“Ah, you’re here . ”
Black Rose had been waiting for me to arrive at the Chaos Gate in Mac Anu .
“Even with the corruption, we have no choice . Let’s increase our levels . Let’s choose an appropriate dungeon,” she said with a smile . The situation was almost the same as usual .
“I don’t feel like going to a dungeon today . ”
I looked down .
“I was just trying to get some gear in town . ”
“Kite? What’s wrong?”
Perhaps she sensed something in my tone, as BlackRose stared into my eyes .
“Did something happen? Hmm? Come on, you can tell me . I’m like a sister to you . ”
Her casual attitude and words irritated me for a moment .
Did something happen, you ask? I had no idea what on earth is happening right here right now . I wanted to say that, but I was too tired . So I said something else .
“Are we wrong about how we do this? I’m not confident about it . ”
“Hey, hey, what are you saying?”
“Every time we act, something bad happens . That’s a fact, as Balmung and Lios say . ”
“I don’t know if that’s good or bad . ”
“But…”
“Well, what are you going to do? You…”
“Why did it have to be me?” I grumbled .
“I wish Orca, not me, had received the bracelet . Originally, it was supposed to be that way…”
That was something I had always thought about .
If he had received the bracelet… Yasuhiko would have been able to deal with things much better than I was able to .
The truth is that at a time like this, a guy like Yasuhiko should be at the center of things . A person who is cheerful, has common sense, and can interact with other people without inhibition . An honest person who others naturally gravitate to and want to support .
It was Orca who was supposed to receive the bracelet in the first place . I just happened to be there . Coincidentally, I was given the bracelet on the spur of the moment .
If you compare it to a game, my original role was, at best, one the villagers who appears at the start . Characters who disturb the flow of the game when they say something that a player already understands, such as “You can talk by pressing the A button!” That was me .
This bracelet is not suitable . It was too heavy for me .
I talked about this as I thought of it .
Suddenly, BlackRose stared at me silently .
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“Come on!”
She turned to the Chaos Gate and began to enter area words .
We were taken to the cathedral .
“Do you remember this place?” said BlackRose .
I couldn’t forget . It’s the place where I just met her, and the place where the bracelet first appeared . A gloomy and quiet area .
“My brother…” BlackRose said, looking up at the bound goddess .
“He became unconscious here…”
I felt my body shrink inward .
“I’m sorry for keeping silent . Somehow I couldn’t tell you . “
BlackRose smiled a little .
“When I first met you, you brought me here, right? I wanted to see for myself what happened here . But I was scared alone and couldn’t do it . It’s still the same now . I’m scared…”
The surroundings were still tranquil . It was so quiet that I could hear ringing in my ears .
“But, because you were there, I’ve come this far . If at that time I didn’t meet you here, I think everything would have gone to ruins a long time ago . ”
BlackRose’s voice was quivering .
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“Even so, if you say something like that…”
Being unable to tell the future, she closed her mouth .
I opened my mouth halfway trying to say something, but that was it . I could not say anything .
I’d never been so devastated .
I felt like I was so clever that I was observing everything around me, but in fact, I couldn’t see anything .
Why didn’t she realize that too? Hadn’t she thought of it?
Why did she ever start working with me? I could guess if I thought about it carefully .
She was the same as me . A person close to her was unconscious and she wanted to save him .
I was aware that I was a complete idiot .
I was just like a crab being slowly boiled . I didn’t really understand what those words meant, but it was almost like that .
“Sorry . I apologize,” I said .
“I felt like I was carrying what happened to Orca and these incidents all on my own . ”
Then I tried to continue this train of thought .
Yeah, I wanted to be like Yasuhiko . I’ve always wanted to be like him . I had longed for it . But I gave up halfway . Was there anything a mild-mannered person like me could do? Me with a pasta container overheated in the microwave . It was already a limp mess and couldn’t be fixed .
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But when he started the game, Yasuhiko said—
You can become the person you want to be in “The World . ”—
Could I really be the person I want to be in this world?
No, I had to become the kind of person I wanted to be . I had to believe in myself and change so that I could save everyone .
But I didn’t talk like that .
I thought that I was a little uncomfortable because of too many emotional expressions . Most of the time, I didn‘t trust narcissist people who often talked while using the dash button . I was completely fed up with that sort of thing . And it’s probably the limit as the human that I am who thinks this in the current situation .
In the first place, was it possible for me to “believe in myself”? I wanted a basis for believing it . But I had no such basis . Whether I was being humble or not, I knew I did not have much confidence in myself . In any case, I wasn’t strong enough . I would be no use in these circumstances . I would not be able to resist a strong opponent . On the outside I looked strong to my friends . I was armed with the knowledge, but inside I wasn’t prepared .
When BlackRose met me for the first time, I was strangely able to describe myself in a few words .
But still, I had to become like Yasuhiko .
It seemed that the world was being deceived . Okay, I’ll keep it deceived .
“…What can we do now? Let’s do what we think is best . Only by doing that can we move forward,” I said .
BlackRose had a small smile on her face .
“Yeah, let’s do our best together! I’m sure it will work . My intuition is right!”
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